The sus 37 year old male author of teenage torture porn has gifted us another punishing season of hot adults playing miserable 17 year olds as they fuck, cry and fight for their lives. Naturally, I have bones to pick.
Why is Sam Levinson such a little sicko? I respect his artistic hustle but I do not trust him. I feel like he should be on government watch.
Yes, it’s all very well dragging Sam. But why do we, as grown adults, love tuning in to watch children suffer? We can’t seem to look away. It’s concerning.
Doesn’t Rue owe a dealer, like, $10,000? A couple weeks ago she narrowly escaped being sex trafficked, now she’s giving early 2000s teen movie voiceovers about how her first love taught her things.
Why was the budget of Lexi’s school play bigger than the government funding for every single New Zealand film and TV series from the past 10 years combined?
Did Dominic Fike have a clause in his contract where he had to cringe everyone out by singing for 10 whole minutes? We need to abolish, stigmatise and denormalise teen drama scenes that feature characters playing guitar and singing to one another. As a humble audience of 20-somethings desperately consuming provocative entertainment media to fill an inexplicable void, we do not deserve to sit through them.
Just why to Elliot in general.
The potent misery I feel about Ashtray dying will never fade. If I wasn’t so relieved that this dumb show has exited my weekly routine, I would storm HBO and punish them for their crimes.
However, why are people shocked that Ashtray, a traumatised child who never had a childhood, made a reactionary and ill-considered decision after years of being raised around drugs and crime? That kid was never going to know peace. Him doing something dangerous and stupid to protect Fezco, his only family, was kind of inevitable.
Why did I think for a second that Lexi and Fez were going to get a happy ending? It’s quite clear that Mr. Levinson is an emotional terrorist and I should never have let my guard down or my expectations soar like that.
How did so many people forget Cal Jacobs is a pedo? His teen queer love story segment was gorgeous. It could be it’s own movie…but it was also weird to spend so much time humanising and empathising with a child abuser. None of that backstory justifies or explains why he films people without their consent and literally ‘fucks little kids’ as Rue once put it.
Kat and Jules had like 2 lines of dialogue. Way to have interesting characters with massive potential for season 2 and do absolutely fuck all with it! Like why did we get zero development or conversation after Kat did underage sex work for the entirety of season 1? After a stunning slowburn between her and Ethan last season, her season 2 storyline was literally just finding Ethan boring and breaking up with him. A bloody tragedy and a giant waste.
Hunter Schafer wrote that brilliant therapy session episode for Jules and Sam needed to get her on for season 2 as well. Her role this time around was just saying I love you 300 times, cheating on her girlfriend with smelly Elliot and feeling sorry for herself. Another fucking maaaaassive waste of character, especially a thoughtful, 3 dimensional trans character who was given so much complexity previously.
Fez’s grandma straight chilling while guns are blazing during the home invasion. At least some storylines are consistent I guess!
What a truly testing ensemble cast this show has. The only tolerable characters left are dwindling in numbers fast. Lexi used to be one of my mains but after that fuckin stupid play she’s been blacklisted. If only the play had discussed Nate being abusive and not just making fun (?) of how he’s probably gay.
Ethan though. How could we not talk about dark horse king Ethan.
Nate, Maddy and Cal had the best three best lines of dialogue this season.
Overall, this season had an excellent first episode but immediately struggled to follow it up. While season 2 is immaculate looking and epically soundtracked with stunning art department and some really superb acting, structurally, it’s a weird disjointed parody of season 1, jumping erratically from event to event without much cohesion or payoff. I’m glad Rue seemed to feel some catharsis watching Lexie’s play, cause I sure as hell didn’t feel any this entire season.
Euphoria is best when it’s about Rue’s grief and addiction. Sam Levinson knows his stuff here, and he excels when he writes what he knows. When he gets raw drama and emotion right it’s poignant as hell. Unfortunately, the rest of his writing surrenders to music video style montages and shock value over substance, which is a shame considering how much potential lies in the backstories he’s built.
At least the HBO prosthetic dick department made lots of bank this year.
Uphoria will be back for season 3, despite the fact it’s most definitely going to hell. Fans can do everyone a favour by shutting the fuck up until 2024.
Teen Drama Bitch 